Seema Anand’s definition of ‘Sex’
‘Sex’ for many of us, especially the Indians is a ‘bad word’, and why not? We have been taught that it is something that is not good to be spoken out in public. And this is very much evident by the fact that our biology teacher, whether mine or yours, always tends to skip it as a part of the syllabus and any question that amply on to the subject were not welcomed. So, when there was such a huge conspiracy of hide and seek, from where do we really learned about the phenomena? Thanks to American rom-com’s that the idea of sex was introduced among the Indian teenagers whose imaginations then ran amuck with wild fascinations of their own. Now, when we are all grown up, from our school time to office hours, the matters related with sex are still hidden under the blanket of stereotypes, stigmas and silences.
Though, India has a history for erotic traditions, the country still holds escalation of anti- Romeo squads or Bajrangdal or whatsoever, that the relationship between men and women is highly compromised. Honor killing is on a rush while rapes are normal, sex education is imagination while not being sexually appealing is a dirt spot. And on the top of this, India ranks first on child birth in 2020! It is highly ironic and funny that in a country with the highest population in the world, sex is a taboo.
Films which are the core of education especially regarding sex too are infiltrated by the fake philosophies which resulted in a rule where films will not be provided with certification if it portrays a woman who is in control of her own sexuality. Our perception is that sex makes one lose their dignity. This could be majorly influenced by our perception of relation between pride as what’s good or bad. We have an invisible book of agenda stating the characteristics of a good pride. So it’s actually fascinating to realize that a person can be called as a bad person only due to their idea of ‘sex’ and ‘preferences’. This has a lot do to with our cultural education, the spectra we decide for pride and dignity. Now, here the book ‘the art of seduction’ by author Seema Anand plays a key role for understanding the true idea behind sex and help you differentiate the layers of stigma and the beauty of sex.
Sex- not just only ‘Coerce’
Seema Anand is a narrator, a story teller and the London based author who frankly describes that sex isn’t just about coerce it has a greater meaning beneath it. In her Ted talk, she talks about sex in the most beautiful manner one could ever explain. According to Seema Anand, the author of the book ‘The Arts of Seduction’, there is a strange shift in attitude of people while addressing sex is a reaction to the emancipation of women. From the times where sex was a need and desire we have come to an age where sex is a privilege and pleasure of the man. From joyous expression, it has today turned into domination and repression. Drawing her writings for the book of ‘Kama sutra’, Anand describes about the beauty of sex and its relationship between life and living. And if we look closely towards this shift, the role of women hasn’t changed much it’s just the shade that had changed.
“The role of the woman does not change, the nuance changes. She still creates life but no longer because she wishes to, rather because she is told to. She is told when and with who. Desire becomes a duty. It is no longer her power, it is now her job, and it is what enslaves her.” Says Seema Anand.
It is this shift that invited heinous crimes of violence against females like rapes. To be blunt, today, in a sexual relationship it is the man who is in-charge of the act while women are just left as an object of satisfaction. And if this starts to reciprocate, for example the women taking the initiative- it is just not acceptable. What happened as a result is that women now certainly themselves, has withdrawn from any such desires, they have accepted the fact that seducing is their job while getting intimate is a man’s work. So, now there are number of highly satisfied males while tons of unsatisfied females. The power of sex is now in the hands of men. If, you still don’t understand than try to perceive this instance. The art of seduction is a women’s job for which she has to be tall, charming, provocative, clean, hotly dressed, has polished nails, should smell nice, have soft body, silky hairs, waxed legs, streak eyebrows, high heels and the list is endless. And what’s the job of men? Just be who they are? Then why in the end it is the man who achieves the pleasure, what about the woman? Sex is appreciated if we say it through memes or indecent jokes, while if a person expresses their desires and ideas, it becomes a taboo.
“Sex is justifiable violence, it is male privilege and female subjugation, even the language is one of misogyny and abuse.” said the London based author, Seema Anand.
‘The art of seduction’ is inspired by ‘Kama Sutra’ which has 1,500 years old writings of Sanskrit and Tamil classics portraying old painting, sculptures and the history of erotic traditions. Many people argue that Kama sutra is book of indecent positions during the sexual intercourse, what they fails to recognize is its teachings of life by number ‘64’. Now this number 64 doesn’t means sixty fours method of sex, this number shows 64 ways of the beauty of life. Only 10% of the book talks about real sex, the rest explains the beauty of sex in terms of human life cycle. Thanks to several erotic novels and books that the 10% of the book Kama sutra too has lost its importance. The Kama sutra was definitely not the first in its genre and definitely not the least. Now it too talks about the class and caste like every other ancient Indian book. Varna and jati, class and caste, are though just mentioned only few times in the Kama sutra, once in a single line it explains that class is a matter of concern only when you marry a woman who will bear you legal children especially the sons, and can be ignored in all other erotic circumstances. The book that taught us about the degrees of elegance and refinement towards sex, today is a taboo.
Kama sutra defines equal position or value of men and women during the sexual intercourse. It explains that if the other person is too hard on you- stop. If the love bite is painful, tell them to stop and if they don’t then bite them twice as painful. So, it is clear that the book doesn’t even has an ounce of forced or painful sex it only talks about pleasure and happiness. And this is exactly what inspired Seema Anand to write a book describing the correct and most honest meaning of sex through her writings.
The abusive language of sex that we have today isn’t what the Kama Sutra describes. It says that even the genitalia the private sexual organ in regards with daintiness, the vulva is seen as a ‘chandan mahal’ which means a perfumed castle and the clitoris on the other hand becomes the ‘madan chhatri’ which means the ‘umbrella of the love god’. Another renowned author ‘Naomi Wolf’ says imagine a world where a woman growing up in this world is an entity where every slang used against her body is therefore “Used to describe metaphors of beauty and preciousness.” How different will the world be if we really start imagining and understanding sex through beauty and solidarity?